Q: IS Alex G. a lunchbox thief? A: Yes

If you weren’t satisfied with the meaty journalism of my piece on alex g for phillymag, that’s probably very justified via severe editing and my general inability to tell a story. Or because real talk, we all just wanted to know about adam. Here’s an ort (n. morsel left after a meal) for y’all to gnaw at.

Q: Did Adam ever get his lunchbox back?

A: NO.  That’s semi-true, that story.  I’m not homosexual, like the speaker of the song.  But in middle school the guy who plays guitar for me, he’s like one of my oldest friends (sorry Lucas). So, we’re really good friends, and in middle school I’d always sit with him and steal his lunch. And he’s tryna tell the lunch monitor but before he could, I’d tell the lunch monitor “This kid’s tryna steal my lunch” and he’s get in trouble and I’d just get to eat his lunch.  It was a brilliant scheme.

Case closed, Axl Rose.