Q: IS Alex G. a lunchbox thief? A: Yes

If you weren’t satisfied with the meaty journalism of my piece on alex g for phillymag, that’s probably very justified via severe editing and my general inability to tell a story. Or because real talk, we all just wanted to know about adam. Here’s an ort (n. morsel left after a meal) for y’all to gnaw at.

Q: Did Adam ever get his lunchbox back?

A: NO.  That’s semi-true, that story.  I’m not homosexual, like the speaker of the song.  But in middle school the guy who plays guitar for me, he’s like one of my oldest friends (sorry Lucas). So, we’re really good friends, and in middle school I’d always sit with him and steal his lunch. And he’s tryna tell the lunch monitor but before he could, I’d tell the lunch monitor “This kid’s tryna steal my lunch” and he’s get in trouble and I’d just get to eat his lunch.  It was a brilliant scheme.

Case closed, Axl Rose.

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Cold Foamers: All Cold Everything, v. Esoteric and Incoherent

I’ve been a fan of Alex G. since Jack told me Greg cried listening to him [references to personal life as legitimate journalism].  Consider the torch passed, tearducts.  Cold Foamers’ All Cold Everything is recorded and produced and played on by Alex G. so I kinda knew I was gonna like it, but this is delightfully Cold-Foamers-as-an-adjective.  This is late-to-early saturday music (sad and sorry) for late-to-early saturday people (sad and sorry).  Dirty basement and cold breakfast, love-loving and self-hating, close-the-blinds-I’m-tired music.  Vocals come in whispers and wails and screams, and are embarrassed and embarrassless.  Q: “Where’s your tantrum?”  A: Right here, big guy *shakes fist, speaks to father for first time in years*

Being in your early twenties and with friends who get you and why you are sometimes sad and sometimes happy and can help you make this into music is a really nice situation.  Right there, this is it. The ennui eats its tail and its a forever ouroboros but instead of that you make nice-sounding music (re: RAWKNROLL).

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